i got the bed.

and this is the story of the delivery.

i get the call from the pottery barn delivery team that they are downstairs needing to be let in. i walk downstairs, open the door, and the slickest looking thug i've ever seen looks me up and down. twice. (i hadn't showered yet and was wearing workout clothes, so let me tell you how hot i was.)
after that, he asks if i could show him where the bed is going to go. i was like, "um, i live on the fourth floor, so why don't we just go up there once."

i proceed to hold the door for the two delivery guys while they traipse in and out with my bed parts. from that vantage point, i was able to see the slick one check out every girl that walked by...followed by an audible "oh, baby."

yeah.

so, we get upstairs with the bed and the toolbox, which is when i positioned myself close to the front door -- just in case i needed to bolt. that's when the slick guy says (from the bedroom,) "man, we got to build this bed sturdy cuz it's gonna be rockin' tonight, booooyyyy."

yeah.

then he starts telling the other guy about how now, he buys all his own stuff so he appreciates it more. you know, he doesn't steal it anymore and stuff.

okay.

then the other guy goes, "dude, did you see me on t.v. the other night for domestic violence. shit!"

then, the slick guy begins to rap the following freestyle verse, "we be poppin' champagne just like we won the championship game, BOOO."

and really, i can't even begin to describe the obscurity that occurred as well as i should be able to. i'm still in shock, i think.