they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

If that is sarcasm, it must be Tuesday.

Gus resembled a Hippopotamus today for two hours too many. Apparently, he thought he’d try to make friends with the backyard bees. I don’t think the bees liked him very much because four of them stung him in the face. And then, his face swelled to three times its normal size and when I got home to let him out for lunch, I may have freaked out a little.

But after a visit to the vet, a steroid shot and some Benadryl, Gus’ face was well on its way back to its normal size — until the Benadryl began to wear off and it was about 8:30 p.m. and I was home alone and I didn’t know what to do, so I called the emergency vet to inquire about my options. I learned that if he became hippo-like again, I should take him to their facility, but if just the black part of his face was swelling, I should hope he falls asleep and check on him again in the morning. Easier said than done. Benadryl seems to have the exact opposite effect on Gus as it does on me. I fall asleep in an instant, he become crazy hippo dog. And in the middle of crazy hippo dog's third lap at a full sprint around the house, Nick called to tell me he was on the way home from his softball game. The conversation went something like this:

Me: (A bit panic stricken) I’m so glad you called, I’ve already been on the phone with Mission Med Vet and we might need to bring Gussy back in. I’m really worried about him and his face is swelling again.

Nick: (Calm and annoyingly collected) I’m sure he’s fine, we’ll keep an eye on him.

Me: (Trying to be calm and collected) Well, it will be easier for us to keep an eye on him if we are both here. Where are you?

Nick: (Very much sarcastic) Somewhere on Johnson Drive like half the way to Colorado. I don’t know, I’ll probably be home in two hours.

Me: Maybe you could stop being such a jerk, that really wasn’t very nice.

Nick: You’re right, I’ll be home in twenty minutes.

It’s been twenty minutes, Nick is not home yet and when he does get home, I hope he left the sarcasm half way to Colorado.


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