Why I hate Steve Toomey.

Steve Toomey, oh how I hate you. You are blond, and I wish I was. You are a triathelete, and I can't swim worth squat and you have a really nice house on a golf course. You are also funny and sarcastic, traits I just don't posess and so, I hate you because of your perfection and because you are such a good boss that Nick may never be satisfied with another. I also hate that you tell Nick he married up, which makes me feel badly about myself and that you like my dog, which is maybe the worst thing you can do to me. So, you're right, I hate you. No, I will not go to dinner with you and Nick and Sherry. I just can't stand to be around you. And next time I'm visiting Nick, I will make an extra effort to say hello to everyone but you, Mr. Toomey. That's how much I hate you.

Disclaimer: I really don't hate Steve Toomey.