cheers.

i've spent a lot of time being negative here. i think it's because this is the place where i've worked out and through my feelings. yes, it's public. yes, people read it. but it's also deeply personal. it's mine. and it's out there for you to read. i let you into some of my deepest, darkest moments. becuase, i have to say, you have helped me feel less alone.

but i've also let you share in my joy.

it may seem like if you compare my joy and my dispair on a scale, the dispair would outweigh joy by like a million.

this is becuase i've had a hard few years.

and by "few" i mean 11-ish.

but things are finally looking up.

good things are happening to me. and for me. and around me.

and for once, i don't feel like i have to write an angsty poem in order to cope with my day.

for once, i can just sit and be.

and this, my friends, is a victory worth celebrating.

so, i'm celebrating. i'm celebrating the fact that right now, i spend three days a week at an amazing agency and am inspired by the most talented people while i'm there. i'm celebrating that i've been feeling good - really good - for about a year. no chronic pain. no constant trips to the doctor. i've been feeling healed. i'm celebrating that i finally am truly over missing gus. i don't think about him. i don't cry over him. i love kolby. to pieces. and, i'm celebrating that i'm finally settling down - again. with the man of my dreams. with my best friend. with the only person i can imagine sharing my crazy life with.

so, i'm celebrating tonight.

and i hope, that wherever you are, and whatever you're feeling, you can find something to celebrate, too.