and i went crazy. enough to spend the night at my mom's. and then, to fly to denver alone. to visit my brother and sister-in-law. because i needed distractions to help me forget that he was camping in the wilderness of moab, utah. and that even if i wanted to, i couldn't call him. because there was no signal. and i was sick. sinus infection, rubber cement snot sick. and still, i went. to denver. to visit. to hike and to grow and to love. but we got snowed in. for two days. for two days in denver, i could not even see the mountains. and so i listened and learned and ate and loved and grew and shared and had a wonderful time visiting. and i nearly (nearly) forgot that b was in the wilderness among rattle snakes and mountain lions and without plumbing. because i felt so full of love - even in his absence.
and then on sunday, he drove to me. and we all went out. to eat latke rubens (hallelujah) and to laugh and talk and share and then the next day, i drove back home. 10 hours. through colorado and kansas but this time, with my b. and i felt so at peace with everything. it was just bursting out of me - this peace. this peace that i didn't think would come during the week when i felt slightly abandoned and very sick and mostly afraid. that week. the one i dreaded for at least a month or more - brought me peace afterall.