they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


i've been pushing and pulling with my body image stuff since i was 11.

pushing myself to be perfect. pulling back when the pushing gets out of hand.

the year i was unemployed, i ran a lot. every day. and it felt good. i didn't do it because i thought i "had" to. but when i got a job, i was afraid that the lack of time to run every day would make me go crazy. make the scales go up. make me an emotional mess.

i went to the doctor today. the nurse said she could have used pediatric instruments on me because i'm so tiny. i weighed less than i did on the day i got married. and here's the thing. i've been working a lot. running less. and eating more (especially at lunchtime).

maybe it is time for me to just be. if i can run, i can. if i can't, i can't. if i want two sandwiches, i want two.

it's just hard to get there.


Post a Comment

<< Home