they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Monday, October 19, 2009

grace.

today, i landed a freelance client.one that will probably have weekly work for me for several months -- pending the relationship goes well and works out for both parties. it's not a ton of work. but it's something. and it's a client that i am so excited/blessed to be working with. and i didn't even have to look for this one. a former co-worker made it happen. and for that, i am so thankful.

see, god is working all of the time. even while i'm sleeping.

did you know almost two years ago to this date, a doctor told me i could never run again. he said it would make this chronic condition he'd just diagnosed me with worse. instead, i was instructed to begin a strict regimen of pills. some that would make me tired. others that would make me gain up to 15 pounds a year. another that could make my liver fail.

but saturday, i ran a half marathon. and today, i did an easy 3-miles. and those pills? they're no longer in my life. well, most of them aren't. and most days, i don't even remember that i'm "sick" with anything.

and in the background, iron and wine is playing on repeat. it's been this way all week. "but please, remember me, my misery, and how it lost me all i wanted. those dogs that loved the rain and chasing trains - the colored birds above there running in circles round the well and where it spells on the wall behind st. peter's...who the hell can see forever. and please remember me...you turned from me. said the trapeze was wonderful but never meant to last."

it's beautiful. an ironic beauty. the melody is hypnotic but as i'm drawn to learn the harmony and the lyrics and maybe even to play it on the piano, i realize that the melancholy it expresses is no longer mine.

and to that i say, amen.

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