things that happen due to unemployment #4,524.

i've got lots of time on my hands. and you know what they say about idle hands. so, i try to fill my days with creative, innovative thinking. but typically, i resolve to either
1. clean the floors (again)
or
2. take the dog on another walk

but wait. that's not all. i also run. at least 4 miles a day. that, plus the several dog walks, totals close to 6 miles a day of on-foot travel. you'd think i would have noticed my pants fitting looser or something. but you'd be wrong. maybe it's because of the half and half (which i just realized is called that because it's half cream and half milk) that i put in my 2.5 cups of coffee every morning. or it could be the several handfuls of m&ms i "reward" myself with before dinner.

but whatever.

every week i apply for exactly three jobs. (because this is mandated by the office of unemployment.) if it's a good week and there is more happening on the job boards, i would like to apply for more. but this has never happened. because we live in an economy of no jobs. and therefore, i apply for like two that would adequately fit my skill set and one that is either
1. a total long shot
or
2. something i could have done in high school

i also think a lot. yesterday, whilst in the shower, i composed an entire creative nonfiction essay on divorce in my head. then i got out of the shower and wondered if it was worth writing. the jest of it is that divorce sucks, is hard and is something most people don't understand. so your friends will either
1. never talk to you again
or
2. act supportive but distance themselves immensely

and then i throw ideas around like going back to school. UMKC just began offering a masters of fine arts in creative writing. um, hello dream degree.

can i get paid to go to school?

probably not. so, in between dreaming and waiting to be called with a job offer i make lists. because then i can cross things off and feel accomplished. today's list includes:
1. buy sugar, sparkling water, challah and trash bags
and
2. clean the floors

i bet you can't guess which one i've already crossed off.