letter to a lost friend.
i wondered if you know that i am happy now. really happy. i wondered if you would want to know that i've finally found a home. that when i woke up thinking of you, i was laying in the most comfortable bed. and that i'd been sleeping in a house with arched doorways and built-ins and lots of character and original walls sconces from the 1920s.
and then i remember that there was a closure email you promised you'd write. maybe that's why i still think of you. because there was no closure. and so i think about how i was there when she was born. and how i know all of your junk - all of it. and i wonder if you are okay. like beyond the perfect smile and makeup and clean house. are you okay? deeply okay?
because i finally am.
i was sick this week. really sick. fever through the night, stiff neck sick. and for a moment, just a moment, i got all hypochondriac on myself and thought i might have miningitis. and for a brief second, i wondered if you would want to be called if i was deathly ill.
and honestly, i don't know the answer.