they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


so today i was watching tv and a boflex commercial came on. and it was all the usual boflex bullshit. about working out only three times a week for these incredible results and you know, it will be the last piece of exercise equipment you'll ever buy. and all that type of stuff. but then, the ridiculously buff star of the commercial actually said, "i gave all of my fat clothes to my fat friends."

and anyway, um. yeah. he said that. someone thought it would be a good idea to write that line into his script. and some director out there coached him how to say it. and then some post production guy was like, "yeah, that is a nugget of genius, let's keep that in!" and then the creator of boflex was like, "this commercial is going to revolutionize my life." and anyway, i know several people who have purchased a boflex. and you know what the boflex does all day long? it collects dust. in garages or attics or basements. and i think those boflex purchasers might be holding onto their "fat clothes." in the event that they can't dedicate the actual time and attention to their very expensive, very large, and extremely complicated piece of mail-ordered equipment.


  • At 10:18 PM, Blogger "The D" said…

    After my weight loss a couple of friends were inspired. So they bought some equipment. I told them they didn't need it, they shouldn't buy it. Long story short, know what that equipment is doing now? Indoor clothes line, and jungle gym for the kids. Oh, and their still fat.

  • At 1:59 PM, Blogger Sarah said…

    It's interesting how in those bowflex commercials, when they show the man's transformation, not only do his pecs get super defined, but all his chest hair magically disappears as well.

  • At 2:31 PM, Blogger Author said…

    Why do you need a bowflex when you can just get "The Perfect Pushup?" It was designed by a navy seal who's killed over 300 people in his 23 tours of duty. He also assassinated Hitler. I bet you the designer of the bowflex didn't do all that.

  • At 5:25 PM, Blogger Faith said…

    I saw that commercial last week! And I wanted to kick that jackass in the nuts!

    I mean, who SAYS shtuff like that? GAH! (I used to date guys like that. *shudders*)


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