today.

i haven't been sleeping. it's like my body shot right back to the anxiety-ridden mass of matter it was two years ago. a year ago. for a year.

and eating is hard, too.
i have no appetite. at all. not even for the braised snails at extra virgin.
or the grilled bread with ricotta.

but i do have more optimism this time.
mostly because my time at barkley has been edifying. i've made some great friends. i've grown my portfolio. i've proven to myself that i can do things i wasn't sure i could do before i started there.

and now, i must prove to myself that i can go through the job search again. that i can do the whole 'unemployed' thing again.

because last time it nearly killed me, i vow for this time to be better.

less soul killing.

but for now, i must get through the next 7 weeks.