they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Friday, January 23, 2009

out with the old?

13 years ago, i was in group therapy for an eating disorder. this means that once a week i'd spend two hours in a room with one therapist and about 10 other teenage (and a few pre-teenage) girls who were either drastically underweight, throwing up every meal or exercise-obsessed.

i fit into the first category - weighing in at a whopping 89ish pounds. i'm five foot, six and a half inches.

the group was sworn to secrecy. if we ever saw each other in public, we weren't allowed to say how we knew each other. i never saw anyone outside of group though, so that never mattered.

until today. 13 years later. at chipotle. i saw her. and she looked as thin as she did before. i wonder if she noticed me. or if she recognized my face filled in with more 'plumping.' i wonder if she watched what i ordered and how much i ate. i wonder if she is still struggling every day just to take a bite of a sandwich or a slurp of soup.

and it's ironic, this thing that happened at lunch. because just this morning i googled the following phrase: how to get rid of my body issues for good.

yeah. irony at its finest.


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