this may seem like a joke, but it's not.

I should have known when Nick shouted from the snow-covered back yard asking Amy and I if we were wearing our shoes. I should have known when he asked if we would go outside to “check out gus’ poop.” I should have been prepared for what I was about to see. I wasn’t.

There was a steaming pile of what looked like dog poop in the snow. Only it was stringy and huge. Much larger than a typical Gus poop. Staring down at it, trying to keep my gag reflex under control, I asked “Is it worms?”

And then Amy said, “No! It’s a tampon!”

What?

A tampon.

Yeah.

So, it appeared that Gus had swallowed a tampon whole and that it had made it’s way through his little digestive system and had reappeared in it’s normal state only covered in poo and full of Gus’ juice.

Still, I wasn’t convinced that was what it was.

So, in between gasping and saying, “I can’t believe this didn’t kill him,” Nick put on some latex gloves, took a gallon-sized freezer bag to the backyard and picked up the poo-covered mystery item. He put it in the bag and proceeded (much to my dismay) to bring it into the kitchen.

Amy said, “Yep, that’s a tampon.” And I was like “Yeah, it looks like it. But mine don’t look like that.”

So, Nick decided we should investigate by getting one of mine out of the closet and taking it apart. We did. And all three of us decided that it wasn’t the same kind. The string was different.

So, Gus pooped out a tampon that wasn’t mine. That left us to wonder where he got it. The only possible solution is over at the neighbor’s house. But, we’re not sure if that was entirely possible either.

Anyway, we’re watching Gus now for signs of intestinal blockage. But so far, so good. And I can now say that I have seen the grossest combination of two things I can ever think of. Someone else’s tampon covered in dog poop.

Nice.