they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Monday, December 04, 2006

this may seem like a joke, but it's not.

I should have known when Nick shouted from the snow-covered back yard asking Amy and I if we were wearing our shoes. I should have known when he asked if we would go outside to “check out gus’ poop.” I should have been prepared for what I was about to see. I wasn’t.

There was a steaming pile of what looked like dog poop in the snow. Only it was stringy and huge. Much larger than a typical Gus poop. Staring down at it, trying to keep my gag reflex under control, I asked “Is it worms?”

And then Amy said, “No! It’s a tampon!”

What?

A tampon.

Yeah.

So, it appeared that Gus had swallowed a tampon whole and that it had made it’s way through his little digestive system and had reappeared in it’s normal state only covered in poo and full of Gus’ juice.

Still, I wasn’t convinced that was what it was.

So, in between gasping and saying, “I can’t believe this didn’t kill him,” Nick put on some latex gloves, took a gallon-sized freezer bag to the backyard and picked up the poo-covered mystery item. He put it in the bag and proceeded (much to my dismay) to bring it into the kitchen.

Amy said, “Yep, that’s a tampon.” And I was like “Yeah, it looks like it. But mine don’t look like that.”

So, Nick decided we should investigate by getting one of mine out of the closet and taking it apart. We did. And all three of us decided that it wasn’t the same kind. The string was different.

So, Gus pooped out a tampon that wasn’t mine. That left us to wonder where he got it. The only possible solution is over at the neighbor’s house. But, we’re not sure if that was entirely possible either.

Anyway, we’re watching Gus now for signs of intestinal blockage. But so far, so good. And I can now say that I have seen the grossest combination of two things I can ever think of. Someone else’s tampon covered in dog poop.

Nice.

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6 Comments:

  • At 12:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Okay, my uncle told me a story about their dog that he took out for a walk and was having some trouble...turns out he had swallowed a nylon hose (stocking)!!

     
  • At 3:01 PM, Anonymous flowerparts@yahoo.com said…

    oh my...puggies can be so gross sometimes. i just wish mine would stop licking each other's asses. sheesh...

     
  • At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hilarious!

    Seriously, I hope Gus is OK, but that is the funniest thing I have ever read.

     
  • At 10:32 PM, Blogger "The D" said…

    That is the most discusting story I have read all day. You own me a new key board, because I barfed all over mine.

     
  • At 8:46 AM, Blogger Natalie said…

    hmm new here. My dog has totally done this. She lived. I also knew a friend who owned a bassett hound. This lovely little pup ate an entire pair of underwear..go ahead, take a moment to let that soak in...underwear. Didn't go all the way through. Instead it walked into the living room and threw up a nice big pile of underwear. We inspected it and couldn't believe our eyes. He also lived.

     
  • At 9:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh wow! You told this story perfectly..

     

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