they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Monday, September 18, 2006

the pee fart

okay, ladies. you know what i'm talking about. you sit down to pee and then, whoops, out comes a fart. and even if it is tiny and smells like roses, it still seems louder than life because of the echo the toilet creates.

that's fine. really. until you're in a public restroom at work or somewhere and you and the only other person in the bathroom said hello to eachother before entering the stalls. that means that if one of you accidentally pee farts, the other one will know beyond a shadow of a doubt who the gass passer is.

if you are lucky enough to get into the bathroom and into a stall without being noticed and you accidentally pee fart, the correct procedure is to wait until everyone who is in the bathroom has finished thier business and left the facilities before emmerging from behind the stall door of shame.

but not if you've already been seen. not then. then you have to hold in your giggles and your mortified expression. and you have to face the other person. the person who heard it all.

i've been on both sides of the pee fart. and neither side is pretty.

men, do you go through this, too? or is it like a badge of honor resulting in well-wishing and promotions?

5 Comments:

  • At 3:28 PM, Blogger illusionfactory inc. said…

    okay now i know what was that.peefart huh?thanks for the information.

     
  • At 10:18 PM, Blogger "The D" said…

    YUou have been taking oposting lessons from Faith (http://faithsista.blogspot.com/) haven't you?

    If we fart while pissing we must claim it. Beside you are supposed piss, fart, and shit in the bathroom it is the one room where it is not only allowed but expected. Try taking a shit in your bed room and whach your husband go ape shit.

     
  • At 10:58 PM, Blogger yellowrant said…

    fart piss, piss fart... guys have it too. If it's not awkward, high fives all around.

     
  • At 10:59 PM, Anonymous Louie said…

    The D has a point. It is a little embarassing i suppose, but really, it IS where you're supposed to go.

    I was up all night with either slight food poisoning or a mild flu. I had to work today, and tonight I was mixing my off bway show, and totally had to use the bathroom before, at intermission, and right after. And you know that when you're using the bathroom from having the flu, its not a pretty sound. God I was embarassed... but at least I didn't puke.

     
  • At 8:45 AM, Blogger Pensive Girl said…

    the d - faith is one of my favorites. and after re-reading my post, i did think it was faith-esque. :)

     

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