they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

rain

I was pedaling and it was sprinkling and slightly humid but lovely. And I thought it might rain soon. But I kept going. Passing elderly couples out for a stroll. Passing yards that needed mowing and randomly sprouting pink ladies. Passing dogs and boys and cars and miles — all beneath a sky cloaked in deep gray.

The same sort of sky that would have sent me inside before. When I scared more easily. When I was less sure of myself. When a drop of rain was enough to keep me indoors all day. But not Sunday. Not those sprinkles. I kept going, pumping my bike up hills and down them and around corners and it felt good and freeing.

And then, the sky opened and within seconds, I was drenched. As if I had jumped, fully clothed, into a swimming pool. My black running pants were even clingier than in their natural state, and my blue t-shirt was a dark shade of navy. My shoes were soaked, my hair was hanging and my eyes were stinging from a mix of sweat and rain. But I kept riding and it felt good and genuine and like I was a part of the very thread of our being. About a mile from home, my wet breaks stopped working properly and the puddles on the street got deeper. And so, I kept my head down – to shield my eyes from the downpour and to watch the street more carefully for pot holes and places that could send me off my bike and into an injured mess.

I got home and turned on the news. There was a tornado in Missouri, not far from where I had been riding. It probably spawned from the same clouds I was riding under. Probably. And for the first time in my life, news like that didn’t freak me out or send me into a worried state of panic. Instead, I felt stronger and alive and just a little bit hard core.

Like I had survived something bigger than myself. Like I had been a part of something that was intentionally orchestrated to make me stronger.

1 Comments:

  • At 12:45 AM, Blogger yellowrant said…

    truly, I think that's awesome.

    It's really an amazing feeling when you realize that there's a moment of growth in one's self.

    So truly, awesome.

     

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