they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Dear Santa

This is funny, you can play too.


Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at rachel's Office party. It was nick who spiked the punch with too much wine. I can't help it if I drank 72 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cinnamon.

I thought it was funny when I put lindsay's pants on my head and danced the jig on the table while singing `king of pain'. I didn't mean to break rachel's i-pod nano and don't know why rachel would accuse me of rape.

I don't remember calling holly's wife a forgetful chicken---even though she looked like one with yellow eye shadow and red lipstick!

And when I threw up on jessica's husband's ear, it was only because I ate too much of that cream cheese.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's family room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a funny dog and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all pretty and tired. And I'm really not to blame for any of this annoying stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and mostly yours,
jessi (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 96 bucks!

3 Comments:

  • At 1:50 PM, Blogger Oktober Maniak said…

    You seem like a nice girl to me Jessi, fun is fun, but getting it done shouldn't cost so much. Tell me where to send the money and I'll help you out.

     
  • At 1:52 PM, Blogger Lindsay said…

    good stuff!

     
  • At 3:05 PM, Blogger Tara said…

    That is too funny! I put this on my blog, hope you don't mind my being a copy cat, but it was too good not to share! Happy Holidays!

     

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