North Pole, Earth
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at rachel's Office party. It was nick who spiked the punch with too much wine. I can't help it if I drank 72 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cinnamon.
I thought it was funny when I put lindsay's pants on my head and danced the jig on the table while singing `king of pain'. I didn't mean to break rachel's i-pod nano and don't know why rachel would accuse me of rape.
I don't remember calling holly's wife a forgetful chicken---even though she looked like one with yellow eye shadow and red lipstick!
And when I threw up on jessica's husband's ear, it was only because I ate too much of that cream cheese.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's family room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a funny dog and have me arrested for murder!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all pretty and tired. And I'm really not to blame for any of this annoying stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and mostly yours,
jessi (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 96 bucks!