they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Monday, November 19, 2007

another reason to kill me now.

so four weeks later, i am still sick. i have good days surrounded with bad days and very bad hours and some pretty uncomfortable nights. i went to a new doctor today. she was much more thorough, tested for lots of things and put me on MORE antibiotics. (side note: i'm firing my old doctor who told me i was better, didn't offer to culture my urine and said i should see a specialist if i was still having symptoms.) anyway, while i was at the new doctor, i felt better even though they said my urine still showed infection. (take that, old doctor!)

but now tonight, i'm miserable. i can't move. and i'm afraid it's in my kidneys. is it okay to cry now? i've been so good. so optimistic. i just feel like such a piece of work right now. i'm an emotional nightmare for my friends and family. i just want to feel well again. i've decided to not be a prisoner to this pesky illness, and so i've started running again. it usually makes me feel okay. better even. but not right now. right now i feel scared and alone. all because of a stupid bladder infection. one that has lasted a month. one that won't go away. one that is making me say, "oh my gosh, i've actually gone four hours without peeing." to complete strangers on good days.


  • At 2:23 PM, Blogger Faith said…

    My hairdresser goes through bladder issues like this. She's a smoker, and the smoking doesn't help her any when she's dealing with this sort of thing, but she's also found that she needed to drink more water than she was before. I'm sure that isn't a problem for you, but thought I'd mention it.

    Maybe she wouldn't mind if I gave you her number so she could talk to you about what she's gone through? Let me know if you'd like me to check with her on that, and I will. I cannot imagine dealing with what she's had to deal with, or with what you're going through right now. And for a MONTH? Nuh-uh. I hope this new doctor is able to help!


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