thoughts on aging.
i looked at a picture of myself yesterday and i had a panic attack.
seriously.
there was just something about my face looking older. the way faces get when they start to mature into their last several decades of life. and then there was my hair. which is neither cute nor stylish right now. and it was just kind of hanging there around my mature-looking face. hanging there as if to say that i'm now too mature for a cute, fun hairstyle. and i probably should not wear shorts anymore.
but it's summer. and it's too hot for pants. at least on the weekends.
so i panic-attacked. and b talked to me. telling me the most loving, supportive things. and i cried because i feel so disconnected from my body. i go run 9 miles and then wonder why my body would be sore. or i look at a photo of myself, almost 31, and wonder why i would be starting to look older. my mind has just begun to accept my 21-year-old body and now i'm turning 31 and my mind is a decade behind.
why?
seriously.
there was just something about my face looking older. the way faces get when they start to mature into their last several decades of life. and then there was my hair. which is neither cute nor stylish right now. and it was just kind of hanging there around my mature-looking face. hanging there as if to say that i'm now too mature for a cute, fun hairstyle. and i probably should not wear shorts anymore.
but it's summer. and it's too hot for pants. at least on the weekends.
so i panic-attacked. and b talked to me. telling me the most loving, supportive things. and i cried because i feel so disconnected from my body. i go run 9 miles and then wonder why my body would be sore. or i look at a photo of myself, almost 31, and wonder why i would be starting to look older. my mind has just begun to accept my 21-year-old body and now i'm turning 31 and my mind is a decade behind.
why?
posted by Pensive Girl @ 2:51 PM
3 Comments:
At 12:07 PM,
katie s. said…
i turn 30 in two months and am suddenly having moments like these all the time, and am definitely missing and loving the face and body i had 10 years ago that i was so self-conscious about then. how to speed up that acceptance process is something that's been heavily on my mind the last few months.
At 4:48 PM,
Sarah St. said…
I have a spot on each of my hands - like a liver spot. I'm so scared they're the first of many more to come in my descent into old-ladydom.
At 11:27 PM,
FletcherDodge said…
Just think of it as a reminder to yourself to enjoy your 30s as much as you can.
Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.
The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he's a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he's to setting.
That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former.
Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may, go marry:
For having lost but once your prime,
You may for ever tarry.
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