thoughts on aging.
there was just something about my face looking older. the way faces get when they start to mature into their last several decades of life. and then there was my hair. which is neither cute nor stylish right now. and it was just kind of hanging there around my mature-looking face. hanging there as if to say that i'm now too mature for a cute, fun hairstyle. and i probably should not wear shorts anymore.
but it's summer. and it's too hot for pants. at least on the weekends.
so i panic-attacked. and b talked to me. telling me the most loving, supportive things. and i cried because i feel so disconnected from my body. i go run 9 miles and then wonder why my body would be sore. or i look at a photo of myself, almost 31, and wonder why i would be starting to look older. my mind has just begun to accept my 21-year-old body and now i'm turning 31 and my mind is a decade behind.