they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


i would like you all to know that i am practicing seeing bright sides. like, when i didn't realize the gas tank was on empty and i got in the car to go to an interview. that was 20 minutes away. with 25 minutes until i was expected to be there. instead of swearing, calling B to ask him why he didn't TELL me the car needed gas and freaking out, i thought, "hey, when i get gas i can run in and get gum. fresh breath equals a better chance at getting the job."

i know this is illogical, but whatever. (of course i spit the gum out before walking into the agency.)

and right now. all this fog and ugliness outside. instead of getting totally depressed, i'm all "hey, it's sorta like vacationing in seattle without spending any money."

which brings me to where i really need to find the bright side. this employment (or lack thereof) situation.

let's refresh. i lost my job in march. in the summer, i began a contract at sprint. i did that for two months. then nothing until i landed a couple freelance clients. then nothing until i landed a temporary employment gig at the agency of my dreams. which was awesome. but, has sadly, come to an end. note the primary word "temporary."

so now i'm back where i started. except i'm not. because here are the bright sides i'm forcing myself to see:
1. i am now much more connected to the advertising community here than i ever was before.
2. i have met some amazing, talented, creative people. who i will continued to stay in touch with.
3. the temporary thing could turn into a permanent thing. just not right now.
4. hey, i can start running a lot again.
5. this year has forced me to become creative in ways to sell my skills. my direct mail postcards won something at the Addys. i'm proud of this. because i did them on my own (with B as my art director.)
6. my floors (and counters and clothes and tables and windows) will all be really clean again.

still there is the overwhelming feeling of needing to have steady income, and steady co-workers and a desk in an office and work that makes me feel like my life is worth something.

which is probably where all of this thinking is wrong. life is not about what you do for a living. and anyway, yeah. trying to get there.


  • At 6:47 PM, Blogger Catherine VandeVelde said…

    Hi! Just catching up on your blog -- exciting stuff going on with you -- congratulations! I love this post and it's so true that we can decide how we're going to behave, respond, interact, etc.

    Also, re your wedding -- going on a kick@#s honeymoon will be something you'll always remember. Last year, I did the same thing .. tiny wedding out of town and then a lovely 2-week honeymoon in Peru. (A month after we got back, we did have a party in KC ... but it was just that, a party! Inexpensive, yummy food, and hanging out with friends and family.)

    I wish you lots of happiness!


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