the lightbulb.

i ran an errand today on the plaza. at 3:30. and i could. it was crisp outside - my favorite weather. partly sunny with a slight chill. jacket weather, but not a coat. and the real promise of rain was hanging out on the horizon. so i'm sitting at this stoplight and i pop in my frightened rabbit cd. and i'm singing. loud. with passion and facial expressions, and i'm looking around out of shame becuase, i'm thinking, "is someone from my old job in their car next to me? will they see me and think i'm a total loser." this is, literally, what i thought. and you know what, i'm ashamed of that. because happy is a state of mind. happy is intentional. happy isn't being employed. it doesn't come in the form of a paycheck or a nameplate on a cubicle. no, happy is something much, much bigger.

and i'm happy.