my dear.

i'm sorry that i can't always be
clear
and that sometimes i become
shaken
by words
or a glance
...or maybe even by nothing.

see, it's just that things haven't always been
easy
and this newness -- this feeling of acceptance and
love and grace
and hope...
well, it's foreign to me.
and so i teeter between
yesterday and tomorrow
and as i propel toward the future,
i drop bits of what was
like a trail of bread crumbs
left there as a reminder
of the places i do not wish to
return.

and so i carry on
down this path toward
mountains or valleys
and oceans or plains...
and i'm happy in this middle ground
for once --
happy...
without knowing any answers
because you, my dear,
you
make the difference.