right before i stuck my head in the oven.

so the weekend was good. a little first fridays and a kickass panini at the drop to close the night. (who knew their food was so good?)

and a saturday walk around the urban homes tour, a shopping date followed by dinner at carmen's and an episode of lost. not bad, right?

today, "church" in the park, hot yoga and some really bad television. and kolby won't poop. and i'm hungry but not hungry. and i don't feel great. and i'm sort of totally down. and the only thing on tv is keeping up with the kardashians. and i'm watching it and it's ridiculous and i'm really wanting more channels like the sundance channel and hbo and something other than this basic cable stuff. soon. now.

now would be good.

i'm also waiting for something. and it's sort of excruciating. this waiting. the kind that makes me anxious and raises my blood pressure and makes me want to scream. but i won't scream. not even into a pillow. because i need to be bigger than that. i do. i know it. but, it's hard. uncomfortably hard.

and tomorrow is cinco de mayo. and more than anything, i'd really like for an ice-cold margarita to be in my stupid diet. but it's not.

did i mention i'm down? this funk sucks.