Playing the fool

There is nothing like rummaging through garbage to start your day off right. Really. Because once you’ve started at the bottom, can’t it only get better?

I hope so because I was elbow deep in candy wrappers and spilled coffee this morning after I successfully made a fool out of myself by throwing my car keys into the trashcan at Quick Trip. It’s like I knew it was going to happen. On my way inside to buy a coffee, I grabbed the empty soda can from my car’s cup holder and sauntered by the trashcan with my keys in one hand and the empty can in the other. A little voice inside my head said, "You’re going to throw the keys away." I thought that was so wrong. I may be clumsy, but I would never do that, I thought. How silly. But it wasn’t silly when I heard the keys hit the bottom of the trash can and I was still holding the empty soda can in my other hand. I had a situation then and I wanted to cuss under my breath and I had no idea how to gracefully dig the keys out of the garbage so I went inside to ask the clerk for help.

I pictured some sort of long, poll-like tool that I could use to retrieve my keys. I thought for sure when I asked if there is any easy way to rummage through the garbage, the clerk would say, "Yes, here, use this long poll with a hook at the end, you won’t even have to smell the trash, let alone touch it. This happens all the time." He didn’t say that. Instead he took me outside, took the lid off the can and said "There you go." Great.

Good thing I wore short sleeves. He stood there and watched as I, freshly showered and ready for work, dug through the filth to find my car keys. I thanked him for holding the lid and said I had been having quite the morning. I tried to laugh, but he just looked at me like I was crazy, which is quite possibly true. And then, I surprised myself. Instead of running to my car, keys in hand, and leaving as quickly as possible, I went in, bought my coffee and decided that the key incident would not dictate the outcome of the rest of my day.