they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Monday, June 29, 2009

white lies.

the day i realized not everything that comes out of my mother's mouth is true, i had just told a co-worker to spit a strawberry out of their mouth. because it had some of the leaves attached. and didn't they know that strawberry leaves were poisonous? i said this at a company team-building event. surrounded by about 25 people who all looked at me and sighed. "what? my mom told me that," i replied to their dropped jaws.

and then, this light bulb went off. shining illuminating truth straight out of their jaws and into my mind. right then, at 25, i realized that my mom told me the thing about the leaves so that i wouldn't eat them. i was 3 or 4 and she instilled the fear of god. right then and there. little did she know, i'd been afraid of strawberries ever since.

i called my sister.

"hey, did mom tell you strawberry leaves are poisonous."

- "yeah, they are, right?"

and then, i broke the news.

"no! mom was LYING to us. they aren't poisonous at all. in fact, if you wanted to, you could eat an entire strawberry - leaves and all."

and then, we started to wonder what else we'd falsy believed for most of our lives.

i have a feeling we may never know.


  • At 9:10 AM, Blogger The Websters said…

    My mom still denies telling me that if I didn't wipe, I'd get a disease and be in a wheelchair. I totally remember it, though.

  • At 10:46 AM, Blogger Sarah said…

    Maybe she just got strawberries confused with rhubarb?

  • At 12:30 PM, Blogger Kat said…

    Remember the house across from Ward Parkway Mall that used to be painted in pastel rainbow hues? My dad told me I lived there as a very small child and simply didn't remember it. Umm, total lie. And I didn't figure out the truth until I was 10 or so and was telling a friend I'd lived there... What is it about parents and lying?!

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Pensive Girl said…

    of course i remember that house. it used to be my favorite house. i would ask to drive by it :)

  • At 4:30 PM, Anonymous Sarah St. said…

    My mom told me the microwave would blow up if you left it on with nothing inside. She kept a small bowl of water in it just in case. Years later, at the college newspaper office, someone took something out of the microwave and just let it run empty for the 10 or so seconds remaining. I sprinted across the room, which was occupied by about a dozen people, screaming, "Stop! Stop! It's gonna' blow!" and turned it off. Everyone looked at me like I was an alien. Makes you wonder about moms, doesn't it?


Post a Comment

<< Home