without thinking about gus
without aching for him
to curl up next to me
or on the couch
i've forgotten how cute he is
and exactly what his expression looked like
when he wanted cheese
or when he was getting ready to defiantly pee
all over the carpet
and i can't recall the sound of his voice
the way his body looked like a pot-bellied pig from above
on walks through the neighborhood
or the way those kids loved him so
and ran to pet his ears
nearly singing, 'gussy ears. those are gussy ears.'
those images are growing blurry
and weathered around the edges
but i do remember how excited he was to see me
on that day in february
how he jumped onto my lap and wouldn't get down.
i do remember that.