they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Notes to self - Volume Two.

Buying that really big bag of Frito’s scoops to accompany a hearty bowl of chili is a good idea in theory, but when you end up eating more scoops than chili, which results in feeling like a bucket of grease, it’s not such a hot idea anymore.

If you go into the office bathroom with an upset stomach hoping to be the only one in there and then see an old lady asleep on the couch in the lounge area, it is probably not normal to say, “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry,” and then to run at full speed out of the bathroom while she chases you saying, “Miss, miss, it’s okay, you can use this bathroom, come back.”

When shopping for ski apparel at Dick’s Sporting Goods, always knock on the dressing room door before barging in on a man changing his pants and saying, “Oh, my!” But if that unfortunate event does happen, act like a woman instead of slamming the door and running to the other side of the store to try on really cute, flared leg ski pants.

When playing with Gus right after he gets out of his kennel, never get down on all fours with your face anywhere near his because your eyes become treats and Gus becomes leaping frog dog on a mission to single-handedly consume your entire face.

Quick Trip coffee is worth an extra stop on the way to work most days. But on days when you’re feeling not quite like yourself, it’s probably not smart to enter into the high-paced speed world of the quickest convenience store around. Pouring your coffee is just the first obstacle. You must then avoid really angry push broom girl coming straight for you with a pile of dust and lids and then, once you’ve successfully dodged that bullet with coffee still in hand, you have to conquer the coffee set down so that you can get a lid. This is the hardest part apparently — don’t be fooled and whatever you do, don’t squeeze the cup at all. Steaming hot, foaming Quick Trip cappuccino burns badly and a day later, the blister is still ugly and painful and really, the coffee is so not worth that.


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