they pay to kiss your feet

since there's no one else around, we let our hair grow long and forget all we used to know. then our skin gets thicker from living out in the snow.

Monday, April 13, 2009

so here we are.

the beginning of week seven of unemployment. sort of perfect that i'd come down with something that resembles the flu. fever, aches, runny nose, sore throat. all around not showering and wanting to cry all the time. full-on PMS plus flu plus depression about current situation. this is not a good mix. it's like, i keep getting dumped on. how's it go. oh, right. failed marriage, chronic pain disorder, some other unmentionable gut-wrench and then, this. no income. and i'm afraid. i spend time building this safety net of comfort. so that if the bottom drops out, i won't completely feel it. like, i'll have somewhere to fall, a cushion to bounce into. but the bottom has dropped out. and the fall isn't exactly cushy. and i honestly don't always know if i'll make it through the day without losing it - tears and sweat and blood. and i'm afraid if one more thing happens, i might just break.


  • At 9:01 AM, Blogger noapostrophe said…

    Oh honey, I'm so sorry that you're having such a rough time. You're such a strong person though. You've made it through a lot, and you'll make it through this too! Keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day at a time! Hang in there, and try to do one thing each day that brings you bliss. I'm thinking of you and I'm here if you need anything! Lots of love to you!

  • At 1:37 PM, Blogger Faith said…

    Ditto noapostrophe. If you need even just a menial level of escape, let me know. We aren't far, and I'd bet our puppies would love a playpal like Kolby in the backyard, as we sit on the deck and drink mojitos and chat. Leo makes one meeaaan mojito...

  • At 3:56 PM, Blogger May said…

    Sorry to hear this. I've been feeling the same way all year - I keep waiting for the stressful stuff to die down and then something worse happens! Here's hoping our bad luck streaks break SOON!


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