"there is nothing normal about this." he said to her when he finally opened his mouth.
she was stirring a big pot of something to last all week and he was standing behind her. moments before, her thoughts and insides had been on the downward slope of a mighty roller coaster. she looked like she was holding it all together, but her stomach knots were tied tightly.
but when he spoke, she turned around with the wooden spoon still in her hand and let him taste what she'd been making.
"what do you notice?" she asked.
"i think i'm detecting a hint of ginger," he said.
she slipped her hands around his waist and looked through his glasses into his eyes. the were the kindest eyes she knew. she told him she was having a hard time with his distance.
she even started to cry. but he pulled her closer. it was good to smell him again. his skin. his shirt.
she put the wooden spoon down and wrapped her entire body around his. she wondered if it was foolish to cling to him so tightly when he still had the capability to hurt her. she'd spent a good part of her life going to great lengths to avoid pain. but then, in that moment. in the kitchen. all wrapped up in him, her raw insides exposed, she wanted to say, "i have never been more vulnerable and you aren't being careful enough with my heart."
but instead, "i am incapable of letting you go" is what came out when she opened her mouth.