it has recently been apparent to me that the grass is always greener. it's true. mom was right.
i will prove this point with the following:
when i owned a home, i wanted a bigger one. i also thought renting again would be a good option.
now that i'm a renter, i'm aching to be a homeowner again. i drive by yards with budding trees and cry. for real. i cry.
when i was married, i'd wonder if being single would be more fun -- more fulfilling.
now that i am not married, i keep looking at all of these married couples with envy. and a weird sort of jealousy. like their future is somewhat certain and mine is all up in the air. and i like to have a plan. a neat little list of things to do and to cross off. i don't have one of those right now.
when i had roommates, i always wanted them to magically disappear. their stuff. their noise. their mess.
now that i don't have roommates, it's clear i'm not built for this living alone stuff. the apartment seems too big. too empty. to messy for just me. but why clean when i'm just going to mess it up again? i want a roommate.
when gus came into my life, there were times he drove me so crazy, i just needed to hand him over and go running.
now that i never see gussy, i miss him so much. sometimes when a shadow dances across the wall, out of the corner of my eye i swear it's him. i check petfinder.com every day to look for another doggy to love. but i'm not sure one will every take his place.
when i was suffering from acid reflux, it was so bad i couldn't swallow. i thought i'd rather have anything but that.
now, that's gone. but this IC nonsense is 100 times worse. so, yeah. i'd take the reflux back to give up this IC in a second.
until this year, i drove a string hondas. a 1998 cvic followed by a 1996 civic (with a brief plymouth sundance detour.) then a 2002 civic. then a 2006 element. by then, i was sick of honda's and thought a toyota sounded nicer.
now, i would trade my 2007 yaris for a 2002 civic any day.
when i had a yard, i hated yard work. despised it, even.
now, i have dreams that i'm working in a yard - only to wake up to my cement floors and high ceilings. i want a yard again.
okay, and we've come full circle.
the conclusion? i'm constantly switching sides of the fence.