in which i did not die.
due to my slight weather obsession, i'm very familiar with wall clouds, super cells and what the sky looks like right before all hell breaks loose. brian busby has been a good teacher. and, i, a faithful student. so friday, as i drove home from work beneath a sky that looked like the last storm-chasing special i watched, i was afraid. shaking. scanning the radio for news, warnings...anything. but all i could find was a bad Destiny's Child song (i'm not implying that they have a lot of good songs) and static.
but i wasn't about to pull over or duck beneath an overpass. that, despite common opinion, is one of the most dangerous decisions one can make whilst trying to survive a tornado. instead, i continued trucking along in a flooding downpour under a green sky filled with black wall clouds and doom. i swore up and down that i saw rotation in the clouds - and funnels, even. but between the swearing up and down, i kept saying to myself, "jessi, you can do it. this will make you stronger." the positive self-talk at this point is of utmost importance.
once my journey beneath personified death ended, i arrived at the gym. minutes later, the storm showed its face there, too. and as i climbed aboard a treadmill, the television began screaming loud and clear that our county was, in fact, under a tornado warning. and the storm i had just driven through was, in fact, dangerous.
in fact, the facts scared the bejesus out of me.
that's when i put my ear buds in and turned up my Ipod.
you probably assumed i continued my freak-out session. but, you're wrong. i was determined to run. instead of hiding in the bathroom or under a table (not that i've ever done that,) i continued the positive self-talk with a, "come on, jessi. this place is safer than where you live anyway. just keep running. you know you want to."
i did want to.
and by the time i finished, the warning was over and the all-clear had been given.
i knew it was safe to drive home. to exist. to sing in my car. and i knew that what i had just gone through made me stronger.
and right now, i am fully aware of how ridiculous this sounds to anyone who is not me.